Bad Roommate Series: The Biffle
The Hey-I-Just-Met-You-But-Let’s-Be-Biffles (Best Friends For Life) Roommate
You will know if you are dealing with a HIJMYBLBB Roommate (AKA The Biffle) if he or she has already stalked your Twitter and has asked you what your initials are for y’all’s personalized, monogrammed shower curtain.
Disclaimer: while most Biffles are women, the occasional male-Biffle does exist. The only difference is that male-Biffles might be more concerned with whether or not you’re an Xbox or PlayStation gamer or whether you’re OK with his collection of San Antonio Spurs posters.
This roommate has the best intentions at heart, but his or her attempts to be a good roommate are masked by overwhelming gestures of seemingly forced friendship.
This roommate has the best intentions at heart, but his or her attempts to be a good roommate are masked by overwhelming gestures of seemingly forced friendship.Have no fear, though. This type of roommate is looking to please and will probably be very open to breaking down cleaning chores and respecting quiet hours. Although you may get overwhelmed with the sheer number of roomie selfies posted on his or her Instagram, it’s important to remember that your roommate is also getting used to living with someone and is probably just as nervous as you are about having a roommate.
Tips for Dealing With a Biffle
- Set some ground rules about cleaning the common areas and bathroom during the first weekend. Delegate cleaning tasks and decide upfront who is going to buy toilet paper and paper towels.
- Talk about your sleeping schedules. Your roommate won’t know that you have to go to bed at 10 p.m. for your 8 a.m. class unless you tell him or her.
- Establish a visible sign that lets your roommate know you are studying and should not be disturbed. If you share a bedroom, turn on a specific lamp or put in headphones. If you have a private bedroom, put a nicely worded sign up on your door.
- Discuss each of your pet peeves and then respect your roommate’s input. If he or she has a phobia of kittens wearing socks, then you should not hang up your poster of kittens wearing socks even if it’s your favorite cat poster.
- Schedule a small get-together with your roommate every once in a while to show him or her that you care, even if you don’t think you will have anything in common with them. An example would be inviting your roommate to go to the grocery store with you. The small gesture will mean the world to your roommate and make your life a little easier.
- Resist the urge to rant about your roommate to your friends. If word ever got back to your roommate, and trust me it will, his or her feelings will be permanently hurt, and it will take serious reconciliation to make it up to your roommate. In fact the only way to make it up to your roommate would be to spell out “SORRY” in M&Ms on a cheese pizza like in The Princess Diaries.
The most important thing to remember when dealing with a Biffle is this: it could be so much worse. One day when you are out of college you will be comparing bad roommates with your friends, and it will hit you that your roommate—your very own Biffle—wasn’t as bad as you thought at the time.