5 Things Not To Do With Your Student ID
Nothing can compare to the utility of a pocket knife from that famously neutral nation and its handy dandy military. I mean, who doesn’t need a shrimp fork on a pocket knife? Those little red and white tool chests are remarkably versatile. At Angelo State University, we offer something nearly as necessary and useful, the ASU OneCard. We have several uses for these student ID cards and our students have shown us an even wider variety of uses for them. Some of these uses we recommend. Others we do not.
At the top of the list of uses we recommend against? Surgery. While you may have some experience performing appendectomies, prefrontal lobotomies and spinal splicing, the OneCard is not well-suited for these uses. It’s not terribly sharp and it’s a bit ungainly in its form. Holding one to perform surgically precise motions would be awkward at best. Much like your conversations with your patients and their families, and their lawyers, and the judge. And your cellmate.
All kidding aside, we do have some more likely things you should avoid doing with your OneCard.
What’s at the top of the list? Poking holes in your OneCard. Not only does it drive authoritarians crazy, but it also may leave your card in a non-working state. You can poke holes in other people’s logic, in their arguments, in their theories, but not in your OneCard. I know it may seem convenient to poke a hole in it so you can hang your OneCard on your key chain, but don’t do it, you anti-authoritarians! I mean it. (Really, I am one of you. But really, don’t punch holes in your OneCard.)
Another thing you should probably not do with your OneCard is post a picture of it on social media. As much as you may want to record the event for posterity, it’s not a great idea. ASU, like many other universities, connects your student ID with a bank account. With the number on the card, your name and the security code on the back, someone could make a purchase online as you. I know they need the address associated with the card, but using the world’s greatest database and encyclopedia (hint: it’s the Internet), how hard do you think it is for someone to find your address?
Just because you shouldn’t take photos of your OneCard doesn’t mean you should leave it out of your social circles. It has abandonment issues. Your OneCard is very sensitive to its relationship with you. It needs to be close. Don’t give your OneCard separation anxiety. Be humane. In other words, remember there is an actual bank account tied to your OneCard. With the card in hand, it would be possible for someone to use it to make purchases, use your meal plan for free meals or, if the timing is right, transfer funds out of your account to another bank account.
Last, but not least, don’t share your OneCard with your roomie, your bestie, your boy/girlfriend, your other friend, your favorite celebrity, your mom, your dad or anyone else. Since your OneCard is made to act like a debit card and it’s possible to risk the loss of funds from your account, you should make sure only you use the card. Any transactions made with the card are your responsibility.