Making Long Distance Relationships Work in College
Long distance relationships.
We all know someone who has been in one. Or you yourself might have been in one or are currently in one.
Personally, I have been involved in a long distance relationship, and it worked out about as well as I thought it would in the end. However, that is not the case for some people, considering the kind of bond you might share with your significant other. A lot of factors go into dating long distance and making it work or realizing it’s a lost cause.
Obviously, trust is the No. 1 factor in all relationships, but it is needed more so when you aren’t together. If you can’t trust someone, then it’s just not going to work, plain and simple. You have to know that your boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be as loyal as you are.
I know I have seen plenty of long distance relationships fall apart just because of the lack of trust. I think everyone has those moments when you second guess each other. It happens to us all, especially when you have hundreds of miles between the two of you. It’s OK, as long as you’re confident and open enough with each other to discuss your problems.
That’s one thing I learned — being able to talk to one another about something that makes you both uncomfortable because of trust issues can help your relationship a big way.
Answer “What’s the Point?”
There are going to be times when you might be fighting over something serious or something petty. You might get fed up and ask yourself, “Ya know, what is the point of dating this far away when I have a lot of what I’m looking for all around me?”
This is a tough moment in long distant relationships because you really do need to figure out if there is a point to the relationship. Whether you see your partner as just another fun time or someone to start a family with will help you determine if you should stay the course with the long distance relationship. I mean, you’re talking about the rest of your life possibly, so it makes this a big decision.
The only advice I can give in this matter is to weigh your options. See if this girl or guy is the one you want to be with when you’re old and wrinkly. If you’re just in this because your boyfriend or girlfriend is just the hottest thing to walk the earth and you don’t want to let someone else get a hold of that, then this just isn’t for you.
Long distance is going to test your will power to your very core. It will be rough at times, but they say nothing in life is easy. I think that directly coincides with this. My personal thoughts on long distance dating in college is that this is not high school. You should consider thinking more long term because you’re getting to the age when a serious relationships is more important than a one-night stand, or “we’re just having fun.”
Making time for one another is also a key factor, I believe.
Obviously, you will have school and work getting in the way, and mix that together with your socializing and you have very little time left in your day, most likely. However, making that effort to call, text or Facetime each other during the day will help keep your relationship strong.
It doesn’t sound hard just reading this, but finding the time of day to have a catch-up convo or the chance to just hear/see each other will do more for you both than you could imagine. It is easy at first, I’m sure, because you both are just craving that attention from one another, but as time goes on, it becomes less of an obligation to talk 24/7.
I don’t know what it is, but the longer time goes on, the more comfortable you become with being away from each other, which makes it easier to forget to talk as much as you used to. What it comes down to is time management, basically. And you should be managing your time for college already.
If your partner is important enough to you, then you will make time. The one thing you don’t want is to have one person putting the effort in while the other isn’t, which relates back to trusting that you both are in it for the same reason and having a common understanding of the point of your relationship.
Overall, if you want to make it work, then you both will find a way to do so.
You do need to make sure that the two of you are prepared for the journey ahead, because, like I said, it isn’t easy and isn’t very fun. You obviously want to see each other all the time — you need that physical contact that keeps you sane almost.
I found out firsthand that a long distance relationship wasn’t for me. That is just me, though. Some people, whether they like it or not, are going to have to endure the time apart and get through it.
Basically, my point is make sure he or she is worth your time. If they are, then trust them and work with them every day on making each other stronger.
And if this isn’t what you signed up for, then just cut the rope and move on. One thing I have learned in college is that you can’t succeed without failure. So don’t be afraid to fail at this as long as you learn from your mistakes and put what you’ve learned into the next relationship.